the angry phase...

so i know grief has it's phases... and i am mourning and i am incredibly angry.... for joey, for me, for our family, for innocence lost, for pain gained, for scary highs and even scarier lows...

i am mourning the loss of a carefree childhood.  i am mourning the continuous pain i have to inflict upon my daughter in order to save her life....

and i am beyond pissed, and f-our letter word angry, and really confused as to why this happens to innocent sweet children.  i have tried to maintain a positive outlook, i still try to maintain one... but inside i'm absolutely livid.

that is me being real... and i'm sorry it's not coated in flowers and smiley faces, but i put a good face on most of the time, and today, tonite.... i am just being honest... and honest is angry